FB Status'

In my room, eatin burritos. I hear a loud smash, then shards of glass grind with the road. I move over to the window to see anything. Everyone is okay. A woman yells "It's okay, I have insurance" The opposite driver cries out "Do you think that's gonna pay for my car? I haven't got a licence!" Then they both just drove off... All in under a minute.


R Cooper on a Saturday night

John Carter Trailer

On the top comments:

"You are ugly, but you are beautiful.
/FACEPALMED."

Controversial Boob feeding

Reading this article about Sesame Street and breastfeeding - how some people think breast feeding is offensive (I think it's not cuz it's natural) and I see this comment:

"Can I give my a woman a cumshot in public if she needs a protein fix? After all, it's only natural. :D"
Reply: "No, and no, it's not."

Facebook Status from Diana

"Now Diana, you've almost been working here for a year so I would hope you would know correct phone etiquette by now"
D - "Yeaaaah..."
"So maybe next time when a colleague is in the loo you could say 'She is currently away from the desk at the moment' not 'Ahh, I think she went for a quick piss, maybe call back in 5? Or longer in case it's not a piss?'"
D - "Right...Shall keep that in mind next time"

How am I not fired?

Some intense kissing scenes go like:

That's not even a lip-kiss! That's a "I'm going to consume your internal organs" mouth-to-mouth asphyxiation with tongue.

Milo and Milk on Facebook

Ah... yes well you see Mum, if i didn't give the Milo equal rights as the milk, im pretty sure that would be considered racist. I'm just trying to do the right thing here

House party on Saturday

Someone did an epic fail at playing uno and said: "Got a suicide room?"
Answer: "Microwave?"

No one reads in here!

Look what I found on a back room door

Lol @ "I'm so deadly I can see in the dark"

A sign I saw the other month

mice problem

We have a mice problem right now and my little sister had a comment about the mice: "I hate them! They're inconsiderately dieing on our lawn! "

Good advice from Diana

So, what you're saying is... i shouldnt fart at the table?