FB Status'

In my room, eatin burritos. I hear a loud smash, then shards of glass grind with the road. I move over to the window to see anything. Everyone is okay. A woman yells "It's okay, I have insurance" The opposite driver cries out "Do you think that's gonna pay for my car? I haven't got a licence!" Then they both just drove off... All in under a minute.


R Cooper on a Saturday night

John Carter Trailer

On the top comments:

"You are ugly, but you are beautiful.
/FACEPALMED."

Controversial Boob feeding

Reading this article about Sesame Street and breastfeeding - how some people think breast feeding is offensive (I think it's not cuz it's natural) and I see this comment:

"Can I give my a woman a cumshot in public if she needs a protein fix? After all, it's only natural. :D"
Reply: "No, and no, it's not."

Facebook Status from Diana

"Now Diana, you've almost been working here for a year so I would hope you would know correct phone etiquette by now"
D - "Yeaaaah..."
"So maybe next time when a colleague is in the loo you could say 'She is currently away from the desk at the moment' not 'Ahh, I think she went for a quick piss, maybe call back in 5? Or longer in case it's not a piss?'"
D - "Right...Shall keep that in mind next time"

How am I not fired?

Some intense kissing scenes go like:

That's not even a lip-kiss! That's a "I'm going to consume your internal organs" mouth-to-mouth asphyxiation with tongue.

Little sister with friends say:

"I can see why animals bite now, it's so much fun!"

Milo and Milk on Facebook

Ah... yes well you see Mum, if i didn't give the Milo equal rights as the milk, im pretty sure that would be considered racist. I'm just trying to do the right thing here